Just for the record, let me make it clear that I don't actually agree that "cripple" is as inherently offensive as "nigger"; I'm saying that insofar as there's any in-group/out-group differences, that's the relative comparison I would make. "Cripple" has been used as a term of oppression, and yes, people have been put to death for the crime of being "cripples", but I think "nigger" wins at being the more hate-associated by a long margin. But if someone called me a "cripple mick" and I took 1/5th as much offense to the "cripple" as I did to the "mick" I'd still be taking considerable offense. (And no, for some reason "mick" doesn't strike me as being as inherently offensive as "nigger" either.) Are there any "cripple-mick-niggers" reading who can offer a personal subjective comparison of offensiveness of the components of that slur?
On this comparison, though, how would you expect an African American reading his wife's blog and seeing someone (even setting aside the history this person has of being disrespectful to both the him and his wife) refer to his wife as "a nigger's wife" to react? Even if the person who were saying that was of the same ethnicity?
Dealing with a disability in a relationship is hard, whether it's your disablity or your partner's. maradydd has had to deal with at least as much of the social consequences of my being disabled as I have, and having been on both sides of the caregiver experience, I really can't say which is the more difficult ordeal. So *of course* she's going to care about, and be painfully aware of, this sort of issue. But that said, maradydd likely would have posted this even if she didn't have to deal with disability in her marriage; one of her friends suffered an injustice of the ignorant majority, and she is using her journal as a pulpit. This isn't uncommon, and I'm pretty damn sure that she didn't say what she said about Prop 8 because she's bisexual and might some day benefit from gay marriage leading to gender-agnostic multiple-parner marriages being legalized; she wrote about the issues because they involve fellow humans being treated unfairly and the unfair treatment persisting because of the tyranny of the majority and/or social ignorance. That's the real problem, that's the real evil, and that's what we need to be vigilant for, whether the form it takes affects us/our partners/our friends,, or not. One of the things I love most about my wife is that she's just as passionate about the rights of minority groups that she has no vested interest in as she is in the ones that ecompass her or her loved ones.
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Date: 2009-07-24 11:41 pm (UTC)On this comparison, though, how would you expect an African American reading his wife's blog and seeing someone (even setting aside the history this person has of being disrespectful to both the him and his wife) refer to his wife as "a nigger's wife" to react? Even if the person who were saying that was of the same ethnicity?
Dealing with a disability in a relationship is hard, whether it's your disablity or your partner's.
the tyranny of the majority and/or social ignorance. That's the real problem, that's the real evil, and that's what we need to be vigilant for, whether the form it takes affects us/our partners/our friends,, or not. One of the things I love most about my wife is that she's just as passionate about the rights of minority groups that she has no vested interest in as she is in the ones that ecompass her or her loved ones.