(no subject)

Dear asshole who decided it was a good idea to start parking in my space while my car was in the shop,

Enjoy the citation you just got. Do it again and they're going to tow your ass, motherfucker, and I will laugh while they do it. In fact, I might even let the air out of your tires first, so that you leave half your rims scraped all down 101.

You should be glad all my big burly friends live elsewhere, because I wouldn't think twice about physically picking up your cute little Audi TT and moving it into the middle of the garage so that someone slams into it in the morning. Cockbite.

No love,
Meredith

Question for the LJ Genie

I remember a lab in high school biology that introduced the idea of taxonomy with a sort of expert-system, question-and-answer approach: it started with basic features ("1. Is the organism a plant? If so, go to #35. Is it an animal? If so, go to #177.") and got more and more specific ("85. Does it exhibit radial symmetry? If so, go to #41. Does it exhibit bilateral symmetry? If so, go to #204.")

I cannot for the life of me remember what a document like this is called. Please help, LJ Genie!

EDIT: feonixrift figured it out! It's a dichotomous key. Thank you!