Nature, crimson in tooth and claw. And penis.

[maradydd]

After the jump, pictures from National Geographic.



Here is the head of the penis of a seed beetle. It is not ribbed for her pleasure -- those spikes help Mr. Beetle hang on long enough to deposit his sperm. Evidently they have become longer over the course of generations, as researchers as Uppsala University have determined that the beetles with the longest spikes have more success at breeding than their less-well-endowed relatives do. When you are a seed beetle, size does matter.



Wolf cocks, dolphin cocks, raccoon cocks -- there is some guy out on the Web somewhere who will sell you any of these as a dildo for your yiffing pleasure. (You know how sometimes you get really shitfaced, and you go looking around for the sickest thing on the internet, and rotten.com just isn't cutting it anymore? Yeah.) But I bet he doesn't make silicone beetle cock.



First, there was vagina dentata. Then the beetles gave us PENIS DENTATA.

The function of the structure is still unknown, researchers said, but it looks like it's made to "grab hold of" something, perhaps the inner genitalia of females.

OH GOD NO PLEASE NO. There are genes that code for this. There exists some possible future where this gene gets transplanted into a human and we end up with penises that can bite the cervix and hold on. I have sufficiently terrified myself into not being able to sleep tonight.

However, to end on a more pleasant note, the Uppsala researchers have also made use of a beetle-sized penis pump:

The scientists then pumped up the sexual organ with a tiny artificial inflator powered by a water-jet vacuum pump.

Once fully inflated, the genitalia were stabilized in 212-degree-Fahrenheit (100-degree-Celsius) water and photographed.

You're welcome. Sweet dreams!

Comments

[barbarienne.livejournal.com]

There exists some possible future where this gene gets transplanted into a human and we end up with penises that can bite the cervix and hold on.

-->Bear in mind that there are gene codes for natural armor--in mammals, no less!--as well.

[feralnerd.livejournal.com]

Also bear in mind that, although genes are modular, major morphological changes are never monogenic, and *always* background dependent. You might be able to make drosophila grow spiky junk, but for a human to have those changes would require making immense changes to the way human transcriptional elements are organized. I don't think it is a feat we will see in even the lifetimes of our grandchildren.

[bigby.livejournal.com]

At least not with spikes from bugs. Now catlike knobby knobs... one will never know until it is too late. :)